Resting Bitchface- or, Why You DON'T Mess With Pepper Potts
by twistedhalfsmileM
Summary: Saying that Virginia 'call me Pepper, damnit' Potts is in a bad mood right now is like saying that Stark Tower is 'not exactly tiny'. Pepper/Tony fic in an AU where everyone has their soulmate's first words to them written on their bodies. An Avengers oneshot-turned-story written by someone who knows absolutely NOTHING about Avengers canon. Should be fun. WIP
1. When Pepper Met Tony, or, Really? You?

**AN: This is my first Avengers fic. I've never watched Avengers. Or any of the other movies. Fact is, my only knowledge of Avengers canon is reading fanfiction, because first I was like 'Ooooh crossover!' then I was like 'Oooh sequel!' and then I was like 'Damn this is hilarious. I'm a bit sick of only reading HP (That's the ONLY 'verse I know. Homeschooled.) so I'm going to jump into this world with absolutely no preparation whatsoever! Yay!' And THEN I was feeling lonely (basically a typical 1AM for me) so you know what I did? I got me a glass of water and went on a soulmate-fic binge. ANd then I just got this little plot bunny just stuck in my head. I'm calling it Nibbles. Normally I'm not one for cutesy names, but it jumped to mind. Lol. Enjoy and be sure to review! -M  
**

Pepper Potts was in a deathly mood.

She stalked professionally through the doors of Stark Tower and after a trip in the elevator, she stalked even more professionally through the crowds and to her office.

She had been hired as Tony Stark's personal assistant a few days ago, and she had yet to meet the genius, billionaire whatever-he-calls-himself.

That was not what had her in a mood that made her want to kill.

Her favorite coffee place, which was the ONLY goddamn coffee place near where she worked, was closed.

She could go without many things, but to anybody who knows Pepper, get between coffee and her and they will die.

Painfully and slowly.

She walked, still looking like a picture of silent rage and/or death, to her office, only to find the -apparently suicidal- Tony Stark himself, sitting in her fucking chair, _playing with her stuff_.

Now that was it. Number Two on Pepper's Rules was Don't Mess With Pepper's Stuff.

Ever.

So she strode up to the man, looking homicidal, who said "What's with the sad face, Virginia?"

Wait, that sounds familiar...

 _Oh, he did NOT just call me that!_

She drew herself up to her full height and _hissed_

"If you _ever_ call me that again, I will tear strips off of your skin, make you eat them, and leave you to die a painful, slow death with nothing but Barney to listen to. Now!" she clapped her hands briskly "I'm Pepper, and everyone knows who you are, so get the fuck off of my chair and tell me what you wanted.".

Tony Stark went pale.

She was rather impressed with herself until the words that he had said sunk in.

Oh fuck.

Seriously?

Tony Fucking Stark was her soulmate?

She shoved that thought to the back of her head and continued calmly.

"You may be my soulmate, Mr. Stark, but you will still die a painful death if you don't get out of my chair and stop playing with my stuff. Right now."

Surprisingly, he scrambled out of the chair immediately.

Huh.

Who knew?

He shook his head. "You know, I always wondered what the hell kind of soulmate I would have- and then I met you."

"Are you insinuating that it is a bad thing, Mr. Stark?" she said sweetly.

He shook his head again.

"No! I..."

"That's what I thought."

 **AN: Review! PM me! I welcome anything! A review, a note saying what name your cat is, a prompt, anything, y'all! -M**


	2. That Awkward Moment When

AN: **I'm evil- so I'm going to have SO MUCH sexual tension -and interrupted moments ;)-, it's gonna be hilarious. For me. Not Pepper-and-Tony-from-this-fic's-canon. Mwahahahaha! PM and review, all. -M**

'So.' Pepper thought as she stood there a bit awkwardly.

'So...' Tony thought as he stood there even more awkwardly.

Pepper was beginning to wish for something to murder herself with when Tony (as expected) finally broke the - _incredibly awkward_ \- silence.

"Is it just me or did this just get a fuckload more awkward? Because it isn't every day you meet your soulmate, they threaten to murder you, and you stand there like middleschoolers."

As expected, Tony had bluntly pointed out the obvious.

Pepper shook her head disapprovingly.

"Language."

Tony resisted the urge to duck his head sheepishly.

He was Tony Fucking Stark for Chrissakes!

Fucking Iron Man.

Dammit, why was it always him who attracted the ridiculously hot, potentially deadly females?

First Natasha, then _this_.

He was screwed.

Probably not literally.

Tony pouted.

 **AN: I'm sorry! I wanted to make this chappie longer. It just wouldn't get any longer. It REFUSED. Sorry! Review and PM me! -M**


End file.
